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I live in fear of my terminal friend dying

  • emeryclairelofton
  • Feb 3
  • 1 min read

I live in fear of my terminal friend dying

not because I fear what comes after death

for I know that Blessed Hope

but I fear life without her.

She was terminal before I met her

Yet, how death haunts

the horizon of her breaths

startles me.

I forget when I am with her

experiencing a bond orchestrated by heaven

that we are not in heaven yet.

Though our laughter seems to belong there

our bodies are cruel reminders that betray us.

Time is our cross to bear.

But just like the Blessed Carpenter’s

it will turn inside out the pain it caused.

Time rushing against her to her end

is ironically

rushing her home to her perpetual beginning.

One day closer

everyday

though I fear it

how her soul must long for it.

Though her death will be

part of my own

forever to walk this world

with half of my heart

a loneliness that threatens

such violent permanence

And my cross to bear

I know, I, too

will stumble into Eternity’s arms

with that striking smile awaiting me

an emblem of heaven on earth with me now

The treasured heart in pierced hands eternally

and a fear forever sent to sleep.


 
 
 

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